20: Pick a song that projects the mood of your week or day.
Chester see- Goddamn you’re beautiful, because I’m crushing pretty hard right now and the guy I’m talking to is amaaaaaazing. He seriously gives me butterflies and every other cheesy cliche and it doesn’t hurt that he’s cute as hell. He’s so funny and I seriously can’t breathe when I’m with him. He makes me happy, which is hard to do these days♥
2011. I don’t know, it might be just me but I really hate that quote. Just because it’s a new year doesn’t mean you won’t have the same problems you did, because you will. I hate how everyone wants to change for the “new year” but if you really did want to change why wait til January first to do so? It’s just a day. A day to get fucked up for no reason. A day for people to lie to themselves telling them they’re going to be a better person, but they’ll just be the same person they’ve been year long. It’s just stupid, It’s not like you’re going to wake up January 1st completely different. You’re going to feel just as shitty as you did in 2010. Same emotions, same regrets, same heartache, or the same amount of happiness. If you want to change, don’t wait til a meaningless holiday. In other news, on new years eve I’m going to a party. I personally think that’s a great way to end off a bullshit-filled year. I’m bringing in the new year with people I love, my bestfriend, and my sister. I don’t think it could get any better then that.
19: If you could be anywhere in the world, but you had to be there for a certain cause, where would you be and why?
If I could be anywhere in the world… I would honestly be anywhere but Georgia. Preferably somewhere that always has nice weather. LA or Miami or something or even New York even though it’s cold as fuck there. I’m all into the glamorous places, big lights, big cities and uh there really wouldn’t be a cause… just to chill, party and have fun.
I do too, believe me I really fucking do. Things would seriously be so different now. We would still be really good friends, just chillin like old times. If one thing that I regret, it’s sacrificing our friendship for him. You were always that person who I could tell ANYTHING too. You were there when I would just bawl my eyes out because of Anthony moving, you and Chloe. I miss our little triangle, our inner circle. You were honestly my bestfriend, like my sister and I hate that we let things get so out of hand, both of us. It was a two person thing, not all you. I should have just not went with my feelings back in June. I should have ignored them. I should have put our friendship first, but instead I was being a selfish stupid girl. I’m the one who fucked up. We both got in between the relationship we had with him. I’m truly sorry and I seriously hope one day.. hey maybe even the new year? We can re new our friendship because I miss all the good memories we had. Every. Single. One. Of. Them.
(If you are still with them now, pick the person before them.) What would they say if they saw you now?
Hmmm, this guy named kyle. He’s a cutie. We don’t go out… We used to.. but now we’re just friends. Idk we just make out.. hahahaha… uh.. He wouldn’t say anything we would just chill or play video games or some shit.. and probably make out… or watch a movie… Yeah.. Wow this is awkward for some reason? Haha.. but yeah.
You know me so well. You know everything about me, my influences, what hurts me, what helps me, what haunts me, you know it all right? You know what I’ve been through, going through and will go through don’t you? You know all my choices and the reasons as to why I made them, right? Listen, think what you want when you come and mouth off about how ridiculous, or stupid, or slutty or dumb or ugly or whatever else you want to call me, but remember that you don’t know half of the story, and I doubt when you’re pointing the finger, your own slate is clean, is it?
15: What do you believe in? And not just God or atheism.
I believe in love, I believe that somewhere in this fucked up world there is going to be someone who will love you with everything they have in them. There will be someone who will prove to you that not all guys are the same. I believe that you can only help someone if they want to be helped. I believe that everything that you go through, all of your struggles will only make you a better and stronger person.
14: When you are stressed, what can you use as an outlet? Why do you think it helps you?
Generally, when I’m stressed or upset I come in my room blast my music and get on tumblr and write about it. I think it helps me, because instead of taking my anger out on like my family or friends like I used to, I just put it all here.
"Please give me another chance, I really need you"
………You should’ve thought about that before you fucked up.. again, and again, and again and again and a fucking gain. Now you just have to face the consequences. Good luck finding another girl who would deal with all of you and hers shit. No matter how many times you say sorry, it just won’t work this time. I slept on it, I tried to forgive you again. but how many times do you have to forgive someone for them to change? how many? Exactly. Just can’t do it anymore. I meant what I said it won’t work this time. You’re not sorry and I just don’t want to lose all of my promises I’ve made to myself, again. Sucks it had to be this way but remember, it’s your fault. </3
“You’re lucky enough to be different, don’t ever change.” - Taylor Swift
Let me beging by saying that we all have our bad days. Days where all we want to do is crawl under the covers, fall asleep, and never wake up until we’re beautiful/smart/confident/not different. Everyone goes through it; everyone feels like they just aren’t enough at some point in their lives. But you are. You’re more than enough. You’re beautiful. You’re incredible. You’re amazing. Yes, you. Even if you don’t believe it, you are. Even if everyone fails to tell you, you are. Even if you are constantly made fun of and teased, you are. Every single human being on this planet is beautiful in their own unique way. And whether you believe in God or not, originality and uniqueness if the greatest gift anyone can ever receive. At times, being your self will be hard. People will make you hate yourself or your body or your choices. They will get you down. Because people are just cruel that way. A bully seldom bullies solely for his or her enjoyment. They bully, tease, and put you down because they feel bad about themselves - someone has made them cold and mean - and even if it’s just for a second, saying something mean to you will make them feel better. It will give them a high. But years from now, they will look back at their cruel actions and they will deeply regret what they’ve done. They’re going to have to live with the thought of what they did to another human being, how terrible they made someone feel for the rest of their lives. No one can change who they are and no one should want to. Despite what society tells you, you do not need to be tall and skinny to be beautiful. You don’t need to be straight to be accepted and loved. You don’t need to be white to be better. Every human being on this planet is equal to another. And every human being is beautiful. I really, truly believe that. I know this may not mean much to anyone, but I just want to tell you guys: Don’t ever let anyone bring you down. It’s easier said than done, I know from experience that it is, but just know that you are loved and you are wanted and you are accepted. But most of all, you are beautiful, inside and out.
This will be the last time I ever write about you on here…(I think). You, are seriously the most terrible guy I’ve ever came in contact with. I’ve finally come to terms to who you really are, a scum bag. You make me sick, how you play with girls. How you say you love them and feed them ALL that bullshit then you want to turn around and talk to someone else. It’s ridiculous. I hate you. I hate you for everything you did to me and channelle. You’re such a dog. When you “love” someone, you don’t tell it to every girl with a fucking pulse. When you “love” someone you don’t destroy bestfriends. When you “love” someone you don’t lie to them. When you “love” someone you wouldn’t repeatedly make them hurt. When you “love” someone you don’t repeatedly make them cry. I’m ashamed that I even wasted tears on someone like you.
You took two bestfriends, tore them apart. Made us feel like shit. Made us turn against eachother. Made us hate eachother. Told us the same stuff. Played the same mind games. Made us believe that there must be something we’re lacking, because you always run back to the other and honestly you should feel like shit for that. Like straight up doggy shit. You’re disgusting, you’re scum, you’re just terrible. It’s apparent you haven’t changed, after seven fucking months you still haven’t changed, and you know what you never fucking will. After seven fucking months you don’t know what you want? Like what is the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, what goes through your head to think me and her won’t find out? We always fucking find out, ALWAYS. Like damn, you stupid, stupid boy. I’m done with your games, your lies, your bullshit, your drama, your everything and I hope she is too because you don’t deserve either of us.
You had two great girls, who were willing to do anything and everything for you but not anymore. You lost one of them, hopefully the other one. You’re a joke, a fucking joke. Something I’ll look back to and think “wow not only was he the biggest regret of my life the biggest fucking mistake” You’ll be a lesson, a lesson to my children of what not to do. A lesson to my children not to choose a boy over friendship. A lesson to all of my bestfriends, you’ll be a laugh somethign I’ll go back and just laugh it. Something I might cry over here and there, but I honestly doubt it. Sure, I’ll think of you. Not of the good times we had, of all the times you made me cry and made me feel like shit. That will be the memories in my head I’ll keep of you.
I’m glad you have a fucking tumblr too, I hope you see this and I hope you feel terrible because that’s what you are, fucking terrible. I hope you know you’re a heartless piece of nothing. You’re fucking heartless. Honestly, you probably won’t even give a fuck. On to the next one right? “where the hoes at” Yeah Ok. You do that, because I don’t give a flying fuck anymore. You’re not my problem anymore. You’re not. You’re just a stupid boy, who got caught up like he always does. A stupid boy who will never change or learn. You’ll never fucking learn. i’m not no dumb bitch, you can’t play me nigga. So thank you for just being another fucking lesson learned. THANK YOU. Karma’s a bigger bitch then I’ll ever be. Fuck you and your damn feelings. Buhbye.
Last night I cried it all out til about 5 in the morning and I’ve honestly never felt any happier to finally flush that part of my life straight down the toilet. Done with it, wiping my hands clean. I woke up smiling because I know I was finally getting to see you, after a whole month.. felt like 6. I love that you’re always there for me, like you always have been. No matter who I’m with, where I am; you’re always there and I love you so much for that. You’ll always be my favorite. Til the death of meee. There’s not one. thing. I. would. change. about you, and for me that’s hard because I always critique people pretty harshly. You mean the world to me and always have. You’re everything in one, my bestfriend, the boy I’ll always love, just a friend, partner and crime, prank buddy, the person who can make me laugh the most. You just make me happy and you’ll always be in my heart! <333
"You're a headstrong girl, you'll get through it."
Seriously, thank you so so so so so so so so so so so much! I would write more so’s but I’m too lazy. You don’t know how much I appreciate you being there for me. You listened to me cry like a crazy bitch last night til like 3 in the morning, and that seriously meant the world to me. I know I was being a bitch earlier as in a week ago but it’s honestly because I missed my best girl fran so much >:( You’ve always been that person for me to just let it out with and I appreciate it more then anything! You’ll always be one of my best friends, no matter how many miles away. I love you alex motha fuckin offor.
13: Where do you see your best friend in 10 years?
I don’t know? I have like 5. They’re all smart boys and girls. They’ll find their way somehow. So hopefully, they’ll be somewhere they have always wanted to be. They’re some amazing people, honestly. And they deserve the world.
"Iman Williams is a happy mother fucking camper and if you don't like it you can suck my dickkkk."
Sike. I posted this on facebook, I mean I’m not mad. I’m not sad. I’m not angry. I’m just I don’t know, disappointed? but I’m not even much of that anymore. I’m just at a place where I don’t know what the fuck I am. I don’t know how to feel, it’s just so much that I’m… just shit… I don’t even know. I’m good. I’m all good. It’s all good. Life is “good”. I don’t know, I’m weird as hell. My emotions are all mixed and I’m thinking to hard, I think my heads about to burst. My head is a horrible place to be right now. I over analyze and I over think everrrrrything, and I hate that about myself. Oh welllllll.