December 2010
Chester see- Goddamn you’re beautiful, because I’m crushing pretty hard right now and the guy I’m talking to is amaaaaaazing. He seriously gives me butterflies and every other cheesy cliche and it doesn’t hurt that he’s cute as hell. He’s so funny and I seriously can’t breathe when I’m with him. He makes me happy, which is hard to do these days♥
2011. I don’t know, it might be just me but I really hate that quote. Just because it’s a new year doesn’t mean you won’t have the same problems you did, because you will. I hate how everyone wants to change for the “new year” but if you really did want to change why wait til January first to do so? It’s just a day. A day to get fucked up for no reason. A day for people to lie to themselves telling them they’re going to be a better person, but they’ll just be the same person they’ve been year long. It’s just stupid, It’s not like you’re going to wake up January 1st completely different. You’re going to feel just as shitty as you did in 2010. Same emotions, same regrets, same heartache, or the same amount of happiness. If you want to change, don’t wait til a meaningless holiday. In other news, on new years eve I’m going to a party. I personally think that’s a great way to end off a bullshit-filled year. I’m bringing in the new year with people I love, my bestfriend, and my sister. I don’t think it could get any better then that.
If I could be anywhere in the world… I would honestly be anywhere but Georgia. Preferably somewhere that always has nice weather. LA or Miami or something or even New York even though it’s cold as fuck there. I’m all into the glamorous places, big lights, big cities and uh there really wouldn’t be a cause… just to chill, party and have fun.
Um, my aunts and shit… they’re good. They’re really nice and sweet people. I have half sisters, and I love them to the death of me. They’re always there for me, and they’re really fun to talk to.
I do too, believe me I really fucking do. Things would seriously be so different now. We would still be really good friends, just chillin like old times. If one thing that I regret, it’s sacrificing our friendship for him. You were always that person who I could tell ANYTHING too. You were there when I would just bawl my eyes out because of Anthony moving, you and Chloe. I miss our little triangle, our inner circle. You were honestly my bestfriend, like my sister and I hate that we let things get so out of hand, both of us. It was a two person thing, not all you. I should have just not went with my feelings back in June. I should have ignored them. I should have put our friendship first, but instead I was being a selfish stupid girl. I’m the one who fucked up. We both got in between the relationship we had with him. I’m truly sorry and I seriously hope one day.. hey maybe even the new year? We can re new our friendship because I miss all the good memories we had. Every. Single. One. Of. Them.
(If you are still with them now, pick the person before them.) What would they say if they saw you now?
Hmmm, this guy named kyle. He’s a cutie. We don’t go out… We used to.. but now we’re just friends. Idk we just make out.. hahahaha… uh.. He wouldn’t say anything we would just chill or play video games or some shit.. and probably make out… or watch a movie… Yeah.. Wow this is awkward for some reason? Haha.. but yeah.
You know me so well. You know everything about me, my influences, what hurts me, what helps me, what haunts me, you know it all right? You know what I’ve been through, going through and will go through don’t you? You know all my choices and the reasons as to why I made them, right? Listen, think what you want when you come and mouth off about how ridiculous, or stupid, or slutty or dumb or ugly or whatever else you want to call me, but remember that you don’t know half of the story, and I doubt when you’re pointing the finger, your own slate is clean, is it?
Writing. I love writing. I can put anything into words. Any feeling, any emotion, anything. Most people can slightly figure out who I am throughout what I write.