Free Spirit. Wild Thing.

If you really knew me, you would know that i miss my family more then anything. We’ve all slowly gone our separate ways, and I miss how close we used to be.. and when things were really good.

If you really knew me, you would know that I never really look anyone in the eyes because to me that’s a symbol of trust. Trust is one of the hardest things for me because so many people have taken advantage of that.

If you really knew me, you would know that I’m always trying to please other people. I use to try so hard to fit in, but I don’t see the point in that anymore. So I just started to not give a fuck.

If you really knew me, you would know that I’ve lost a lot of people that I really cared about, and loved. I finally came to terms with that because I understand people always leave.

If you really knew me you would know even though I come off so strong and tough, because I have a reason. I was done being taken advantage of, and walked on so I just decided to cut of all emotions.

If you really knew me you would know I’ve given up on my dad, because 12 fucking years later, he still hasn’t come around like I’ve wanted him to.

If you really knew me, you would know I lost my best friend in a car crash about 5 years ago, and I still to this day cry about it.

If you really knew me you’d know I’m all cried out and just ready to focus on the better things and be the extremely happy girl that I am.

If you really knew me you’d know that I’m scared of finding love, everyone seems so okay with it, I’m not going to get my emotions all worked up and get them hurt in the end. It’ll come to me one day.

If you really knew me, you would know that I can’t forget my past no matter how many times I’ve tried. I’m afraid of what tomorrow is going to bring me, and its hard for me to focus on the present.

If you really knew me, you would see my passion for writing. Sometimes I feel like its the only thing I have.

If you really knew me you would know that I’ve been hurt. I’ve been emotionally teared apart. I’ve been scared. I’ve been weak. But is that going to keep me from where I want to go in life? No. I’m going to get mine. And when I prove the people wrong who ever doubted me, I’m just going to sit back with the biggest smile on my face.

If you really fucking knew me….

Six things you wish you’d never done.

Nothing at all. No regrets.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now. 
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. Where am I going in life.

2. Am I really making good decisions.

3. Mentally punching people.

4. Song lyrics.

5. Him.

6. If I died, how would people react.

7. How things used to be.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now. 
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Eight ways to win your heart.

1. I’m kind of shallow, so I have to be physically attracted to you. Must be cute.

2. I just about melt for guys who can sing.

3. Know how to take me out to a nice place, but don’t be afraid to just chill around the house.

4. Make sure you’re there whenever I need you.

5. Be faithful, and don’t lie to me.

6. Never make promises you can’t keep.

7. Be sensitive and easy going. but don’t act like a little bitch.

8. Have a great sense of humor, you have to be able to make me laugh.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now. 
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

(via ifyouureallyyknewme)

Nine things about yourself.

1. I have a tough exterior but I’m really sweet on the inside.

2. I love Marilyn Monroe, I try my best to live by her quotes.

3. I’m a girly girl, but a tomboy at heat. I prefer sweatpants and a t-shirt anyday.

4. My mind is always in the gutter, I can take anything you say and turn it into something perverted.

5. I don’t trust many people, because I’m used to being screwed over.

6. People say I’m a bitch, nah I’m just real. Your problem, not mine.

7. My attitude is my biggest downfall, I’m not scared to go off on a bitch.

8. I hate drama, so don’t bring it around me.

9. Last but not least! I have a lot of flaws but hey I’m a teenager, Sue me!

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now. 
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Ten different things you want to say to ten different people:

Kelsey Welston: I love you more than life itself, you’ve always been that person I have always looked up to. You’re so fun to be around, but I miss seeing you as much as I did. You’re always there for me, and you’re actually one of the friends that I want to keep around. I miss the days when we would chill all day everyday, You were like a big sister to me…still are. You mean so much to me. Don’t forget about me when you go to college next year! I miss my best friend and I love you so much.

Alexandra Offor: I can’t believe you actually moved, It still feels like you live up the street from me. I’m going to miss you so much, we’ve definitely gotten closer this year. I can literally call you at any hours of the morning, and you’ll be there for me. I hate how you don’t give yourself enough credit, and I wish you weren’t so sensitive. We’ve definitely been through a lot, kind surprised we’re still friends. We have the best time when we’re together! We laugh at everything and anything I really hope we don’t drift. I will miss you so much. You’ll do fine up there, keep your head up. I love you so much.

Channelle Bell: I kind wish none of that bullshit happened between us. It hurt me so bad to see us down each others throat. We we’re so close, and I can’t believe we let a boy come between us. I don’t like how you said all that stuff because we argued. You kinda scooped real low. But I forgive you, and I hope you forgive me. I’m glad we’re getting back to good terms, but in the back of my head I have a feeling your still talking about me. It’s whatever.

Chaz Wilson: You’re a total douche bag 99.9% of the time. We used to fight like every day, and it got so old. I feel like we’re an old married couple who have been married for years. I’m glad we’re finally on decent terms. Let’s see how long this lasts… but I have a feeling it’ll be cut kinda soon…

You know who you are: I miss you so much. Sometimes I’ll just sit in my room and a song will remind me of you and I’ll just bust out crying. Why did you have to move? You know how perfect we could have been? I can’t keep stressing over you. It’s about time I move on, but I can’t help but miss what we had. You mean a lot to me, and I hope we can remain good friends. See you on labor day.

Lucky Kamchamnam: I miss how close we used to be, yeah we still are…kinda. But it’s different now. Things have definitely changed, we’ve drifted alot. You’re still one of my close friends, but honestly I don’t know how much longer we’ll be friends. All we do is drift farther and farther. We never hangout anymore, the only time I really see you is at our locker. I miss all the memories we had. Shit’s gonna change, and I think we both know it. Maybe it’s just bout time I realize it. I miss you man.

Miriam Ripanu: What the fuck? I don’t even begin to understand what happened to us. We used to be so close, SO close. I was looking at old pictures of us, and my heart hurt so bad, and I got tears in my eyes. We definitely promised each other we would be best friends for ever, so I guess we didn’t keep the promise. I hate how we don’t talk or hangout as much as we used to. You were the person i could go to for anything, for a good minute. I don’t know now. I still see you like a lot. But it’s never going to be the same again. I miss you.

Marquez Hunter: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I have no idea how much times I can say it. You’ve helped me so much this past month. You mean so much to me. I know you want to be more than friends..but I just can’t right now. You’re always great to be around. You keep me laughing. You make me feel so warm inside. You’re my best fucking friend, and the chemistry we have together is craaaazy. I fucking love you.

Chloe Scott: You can drive me crazy, you push my buttons and I push yours. Our personalities definitely clash at times. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. We got so close this past year! I’m really going to miss Columbia and you. I hate how you’re so into him, he’s lied, cheated, and has emotionally hurt you countless times. You deserve so much more, move on. Thanks for helping me out this year. I hate that we’re probably going to drift. I miss you.

Alisa Stephens: I miss you!!!!!!!! SO much. I wish you never passed. I can’t believe I went through all of middle school, and now almost half of high school without you. I cry alot, because I’ll see something or hear something that makes me think of you. I often think how things would’ve been if you didn’t pass. Would we have been friends? Hell yeah. You mean so much to me, and I wish you were. I hate going everyday without you. I know you’re having fun up there and I know you’re in heaven. You’ve always been my best friend, til the end of time. I love you so much, and I’ll see you again someday <3