If you really knew me, you would know that i miss my family more then anything. We’ve all slowly gone our separate ways, and I miss how close we used to be.. and when things were really good.
If you really knew me, you would know that I never really look anyone in the eyes because to me that’s a symbol of trust. Trust is one of the hardest things for me because so many people have taken advantage of that.
If you really knew me, you would know that I’m always trying to please other people. I use to try so hard to fit in, but I don’t see the point in that anymore. So I just started to not give a fuck.
If you really knew me, you would know that I’ve lost a lot of people that I really cared about, and loved. I finally came to terms with that because I understand people always leave.
If you really knew me you would know even though I come off so strong and tough, because I have a reason. I was done being taken advantage of, and walked on so I just decided to cut of all emotions.
If you really knew me you would know I’ve given up on my dad, because 12 fucking years later, he still hasn’t come around like I’ve wanted him to.
If you really knew me, you would know I lost my best friend in a car crash about 5 years ago, and I still to this day cry about it.
If you really knew me you’d know I’m all cried out and just ready to focus on the better things and be the extremely happy girl that I am.
If you really knew me you’d know that I’m scared of finding love, everyone seems so okay with it, I’m not going to get my emotions all worked up and get them hurt in the end. It’ll come to me one day.
If you really knew me, you would know that I can’t forget my past no matter how many times I’ve tried. I’m afraid of what tomorrow is going to bring me, and its hard for me to focus on the present.
If you really knew me, you would see my passion for writing. Sometimes I feel like its the only thing I have.
If you really knew me you would know that I’ve been hurt. I’ve been emotionally teared apart. I’ve been scared. I’ve been weak. But is that going to keep me from where I want to go in life? No. I’m going to get mine. And when I prove the people wrong who ever doubted me, I’m just going to sit back with the biggest smile on my face.
If you really fucking knew me….